is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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