I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
