There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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