so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
