sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
