did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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