I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Someone came in the potted fern
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
