So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
