they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
