She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
