you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
