just tell him i said nine months
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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