someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
