Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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