Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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