that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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