I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
