if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have aggressive nipples.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
