Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
