i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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