drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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