if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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