where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
