from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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