there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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