That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
