marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
this is an emotional support booty call
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
