I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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