Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
