I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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