i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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