so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
