Nicole vs. Life
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
