I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
