omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
