Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize