Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
