pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
