She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
