I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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