Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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