Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
