She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
