i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
