you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
