Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
