You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
