I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
