nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
