It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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