Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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