note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
