i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
