theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
