she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
