Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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