How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Im part way to drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
we should paint friendship bongs
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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