i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
