You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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